Open Marriage Contract

Our marriage is the primary relationship. All other relationships will be no more than secondary in priority, regardless of the level of love, lust, and infatuation involved.

• This means that the primary partner will have first claim on the other partner's time, energy, and attention, after such things as child care, jobs, school, household responsibilities, etc.  This also means that the primary partner's feelings about the situation take priority, and are of maximum importance in gauging the viability of a relationship position. 

• We affirm that communication is important, and we promise each other to bring up and discuss reasonably and rationally any feelings of insecurity, abandonment, loneliness, unfairness, etc. as soon as we can articulate them. 

• It's the responsibility of the person who's feeling hurt to bring it up. It's the responsibility of the others involved to listen without ridicule, and ask what they can do to support you. Throwing the ball back into the first court, it is the responsibility of the first person to strain their brains and think of something.

• We will not discuss or complain about our marriage to other lovers.  If we must vent outside the relationship, it must be with non-sexual friends.  We will not involve another lover in any argument within our marriage. We will not argue or fight in the presence of another lover. 

We agree that although sexual and romantic liaisons with others are permitted, they are permitted only under the following circumstances:

• If either of us want to have sexual relations with someone else, the potential lover must affirm that they are fully aware of the situation and have no illusions about the nature of our partnership, including their place in the priority list.

• The potential lover must be polite and respectful to the other primary partner and our children (if applicable) throughout the relationship.

There are restrictions on the following social activities:

• The following nights must be spent with the primary partner: Anniversaries and Birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Graduations and any other days of special emotional significance. As soon as one partner falls asleep, however, the duty is considered fulfilled.

There are restrictions on the following sexual activities:

• Body fluid monogamy at all times with non-primary lovers. This means latex for oral, vaginal and anal sex. Exceptions for individuals who have been lovers for at least six months, and who are willing to do a full STD panel and create body fluid monogamy with all other lovers, can be negotiated.

• All sexual acts are considered acceptable and up to the consent of the lovers involved. 

We hereby agree to abide by the rules of this contract until it is renegotiated, or until we die, or until the world ends.